A Funny For Writers: Heaven vs. Hell

A writer died and met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, “Since you were an author, you’re going to get your choice of two places to spend eternity.” St. Peter escorted the writer to the first area. There thousands of people were hunched over word processors, typing as fast as they could, sweat pouring off their brows, with a demon standing over each writer snapping a whip at the writer’s head.

The author shuddered. “I don’t want to stay here, St. Peter. This is Hell. What’s my other choice?”

St. Peter nodded solemnly. “I thought you might not want to. I’ll show you the better place.”

At this location, hundreds of people were hunched over word processors, typing so fast their fingers were a blur. Sweat, tears, and blood pour down their faces, but they never stopped typing to wipe it away. Three demons stood behind each writer, hitting each with cat o’nine tails. Hounds from Hell snapped and snarled at each writer’s feet.

The poor author wailed, “But… but… this is worse than the first place!!!”

St. Peter nodded and smile, “Yes, but these authors are published!”

Weddings From Hell has hit the shelves! Want to win a free one?

Have I mentioned how much I love this cover? LOL

I'm so excited about this anthology - I couldn't wait to hit the local bookstores (like I did yesterday) and see it on the shelves. I wanted to see if it looked as good in person as it does on my computer screen. :-)

I went first to my local B&N, but no luck - they hadn't put the June releases on the shelves yet. So I drove down the road to Borders, and was disappointed to see that they didn't have theirs out either. Just as I was about to walk away, one of the employees walked up and plopped four copies down on the table right in front of me! I scared the poor guy by immediately letting out a "squee!" of happiness! After I explained my outburst, he cheerfully went in the back and brought out the rest of the store's copies, all of which I signed, stickered and bookmarked, right on the spot!

Then I drove to the mall, where I went to Waldenbooks. Not only did they have it on the shelves, they had it featured in the "Books You'll Love" section (my local Waldenbooks is a great store, btw). More signing, stickering and bookmarking, along with a nice chat with the girl behind the counter.

So today, in celebration of my very first anthology release, I'm blogging over at Writers At Play about real-life weddings from hell, and giving away an autographed copy of THE BOOK to one lucky commenter. Stop by and say hello. Maybe you've got your own "wedding horror" story to tell?

The "Suite" Life

So today was a big day in the Garey household - 17 years since the day Captain America and I met. We were set up by my neighbor, who had invited this "really great guy" to a Memorial Day barbeque, and wanted me to come over and meet him. I resisted, but she was persistent, and the rest is history. :-)

Anyway, our "anniversary", Memorial Day, just happened to coincide with a business/pleasure trip to the very place where we spent our honeymoon - Amelia Island, Florida. Only this time, instead of the quaint bed & breakfast where we went on our honeymoon, we had a room at the Ritz-Carlton Plantation at Amelia Island, which was right up the road (but miles away, in theory, from where we stayed originally!).

We had a lovely time the first night - a nice room, dinner at a 5-star restaurant - but when it came time to turn out the light and go to bed, things weren't so lovely. A swarm of little bugs had taken residence on the wall around and above the lamp beside my bed (I do believe they were termites). Captain America rushed to the rescue, bath towel in hand, and managed to get rid of all the little suckers, but I didn't sleep well, imagining little buggies everywhere.

The next morning, I very politely informed the front desk of the problem, and in true Ritz-Carlton fashion, they took care of it by upgrading us to another room. A Beachfront Suite, to be exact.

It was HUMONGOUS! A foyer, two bathrooms, bedroom, living room, a dressing room, and a double wide, private balcony overlooking the beach. Here's the view:

Anyway, I may just have to have a termite emergency wherever I stay from now on! LOL

We ordered room service to celebrate, and had coffee, muffins and orange juice on the balcony the next morning.

It was our honeymoon all over again, only we were living the "suite life" instead of wondering how we'd pay the rent. Life has been good these 17 years, but this was the icing on the cake!

Happy anniversary, sweetheart!

A Facebook Fan Club

You know, there really are angels out there in the world, even dark ones like my friend, the lovely Justine. :-) I call Justine a "dark angel" because she's into the spooky stuff (like me), but she's also a kind, generous person with a heart as big as Texas. We met last month at a booksigning - I saw this cool-looking chick with purplish-dark hair and awesome jewelry standing in line to get a book signed by Sherrilyn Kenyon (who is awesome in her own right, btw), and thought to myself, "Hey, there's a woman who looks like she'd enjoy my books."

Sure enough, a few minutes later, there was Justine at my table, telling me that she'd read Dead Girls Are Easy and loved it. She'd loved it so much that she was buying a second copy so I'd sign it, having left her original copy at home. We chatted for a while, and I learned that Justine was not only a co-manager at a local Books-A-Million, she was an aspiring writer herself. So we chatted some more, exchanged emails, and kept in touch. She shamed me into getting a MySpace page :-), which has been totally fun, but then she went one better - much, much better - and set up a Terri Garey/Nicki Styx Fan Club on Facebook, which she calls Ghost Siting. (Isn't that a cute name? Ghosts... fan club site... Ghost Siting!)

Anyway, I never expected to have a fan club to begin with, much less have someone volunteer to set it up and maintain it for me! And guess what? I already have seven members! LOL

So if you're into Facebook, stop by and check it out. And Justine, thanks so much for being the dark angel that you are. You rule, ghoulfriend!

Tracy Grant at Writers At Play

I love this cover, and I can't wait to read this book!

Avon Historical author Tracy Grant is my guest today over on my group blog, Writers At Play. Please stop by and say hello - one lucky commenter will win a signed copy of Beneath A Silent Moon. I wish it could be me, but since I invited her, I've disqualified myself from getting any free goodies, dangit. :-(

Tracy will be talking about "focus shifts in historical fiction", which is basically how one defines the differences between historical fiction and historical romance.

Was Gone With The Wind historical fiction or was it a romance? What about The Other Boleyn Girl or Outlander? What is it that makes one book a romance and another not a romance? If a romance exists somewhere in the plot, why would it be anything but a romance? Sounds confusing, doesn't it? It isn't. Stop by and find out why.

First Review for Weddings From Hell

Whew.

My first anthology, Weddings From Hell comes out in 18 days (yay!), and the first review has been posted online! (The good news is: it doesn't suck!) ;-)

Here's what Kimberly from Darque Reviews had to say:

"With stories from four fabulous authors, Weddings From Hell offers something for everyone who enjoys a good urban fantasy or paranormal read. From ghosts to vampires, sweet to steamy, these strong heroines know what they want in a man and are determined to get it. A fast, fun and entertaining time."

I don't care if you're Nora Roberts or Stephen King, I think waiting for that first review is nervewracking. What if the world thinks your baby is ugly? LOL

Anyway, I'm relieved to know that my baby isn't (at least today). ;-) Thanks, Kimberly!

Jimi Gaskin Visiting Writers At Play

Geez, interviewing cover models is a tough job, but somebody's gotta do it! :-)

Come play with us at today Writers At Play as we welcome Mr Romance 2008 2nd runner up JIMI GASKIN to the playground! We'll be giving away prizes throughout the day so be sure to drop by & say hi to Jimi, ask him questions, or to just join in the fun. Each comment you make enters you to win a prize!

According to the lucky ladies who met Jimi at the 2008 Romantic Times Convention last week, this handsome hunk is the "real deal", in that he's not a professional model (yet!) just a gorgeous guy-next-door-type whose sister encouraged him to enter the Mr. Romance contest. He's actually a Physics/Computer Science student at the University of Hawaii. (Gee, and he's smart, too! LOL)

He gave us a lovely interview, including this quote about his experience at RT:

The only goal I had while attending RT was to have a better understanding of what women find romantic. Do I feel like I met those goals? I’m even more confused now than I was going in.:)

Welcome to the world of women, Jimi!

Ladies, hop on over to Writers At Play to say hello and learn more about this sweet, handsome guy.

Helen Rosburg of Medallion Press

"Tattoos, diamonds and jeans."

That's how Helen Rosburg, founder of Medallion Press, describes herself. How do I know? Because I woke up this morning to a front page article in the local paper about this amazing, fascinating woman. It seems Ms. Rosburg is a neighbor of mine, and I didn't even know it. You can read the article here.

There were a lot of things I didn't know about her - including the fact that she's an heiress. Her great-grandfather founded the Wrigley chewing gum company back in 1891. I also didn't know that she owns and shows horses, owning at least 16 absolutely gorgeous beauties (honestly, I looked up some of the pictures on her website, and I'm in love - I don't know which horse is more beautiful *says the horse-crazy girl from rural Florida*). In addition to founding Medallion Publishing, she's an author in her own right, with six published novels under her belt.

What's most impressive to me about Ms. Rosburg is the adversity she's overcome: two bouts with breast cancer, a double mastectomy, heart troubles, a stroke, failed marriages, problems with her kids. Being born with a silver spoon in your mouth doesn't keep troubles from your door, folks. Apparently it doesn't keep you from getting quarter sleeve tattoos on your upper and lower arms, either! :-) Helen says the tattoos represent not only endurance, but are a daily reminder to embrace every moment of her life.

She's an animal lover (to put it mildly!), with a ranch full of various critters: pigs, miniature Brahmin cattle, a miniature donkey, rabbits, hens, a turkey, goats, dogs, birds and eleven cats, besides the show horses.

But what I liked about her the most is that she's her own person. Tattoos, diamonds, jeans and all.

So howdy, Helen, from one of your neighbors! You go, girl! ;-)

Vote For Me!

I just found out this morning about a cool contest that's being run over on the Romance Review Today blog, where readers can vote on the 2008 RITA nominees, based on which book they've read and liked best. It's kind of like a "pre-vote" for readers, to see who they think will/should win. Once a week, RRT will choose a winner from those who voted, giving them either one of the RITA nominated books within that category, or a $5.00 e-gift card from Amazon, or a $5.00 giftcard from Barnes and Noble.

Since I'm a nominee for Best First Book and Best Paranormal Romance, I sure don't want to be the only one without votes! (I know, I know... pathetic, aren't I? LOL)

Anyway, if you read and liked DEAD GIRLS ARE EASY, go cast your vote here on the RRT blog. They're voting on one category per week, and this week it's Best First Book.

Basically, if you vote for me for BFB, I'll be your BFF! :-)

Mr. Romance, Andrei Claude

Why do we read romance novels? Because we all want the thrill of falling in love, the happily-ever-after, and the hot guy, of course! :-)

Admit it, you've bought a book because of the hot guy on the cover, haven't you? What if the hot guy on the cover really was just as sweet, nice (and hot!) in real life as well as in the fantasy?

Let me introduce you to Andrei Claude, the hunky Italian fitness model who's graced the cover of many a romance novel, and is one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet!

How do I know he's as great on the inside as he is on the outside? Because he's our guest today on my group blog, Writers At Play. If you think this photo is something else, head on over there to see a lot more of this handsome hunk, and learn what it's like to be an Italian hottie in an American girl world!

Seriously, he's a sweetie. Not only did he give us a great interview, he's hanging around to answer questions and play with us a little, too. (Oo, that sounded naughty, didn't it?) :-)