Shake Your Booty... someplace else. Please.

Ever heard the term 'booty shorts'? I hadn't.

I went Christmas shopping this weekend at the mall. Crowds are not my favorite thing, but my daughter asked me to go, and I was up for getting out of the house and maybe getting a jump start on Old Saint Nick. There we were, in the middle of a throng of shoppers; Moms, Dads, little kids lined up for Santa Claus, Christmas songs in the air. We're walking along, eyeing the merchandise and doing a little 'people watching' while were at it, when what to my wondering eyes should appear?

A woman wearing these:

Only - believe me - she didn't look nearly that good in them. Late 20's, maybe even early 30's, with way too much 'junk in the trunk', if you get my drift. And get this - she was with her mother (I know, because as we passed, I heard her call the woman 'Ma'). Does the word 'gross' mean anything to you, Ma? How about the word 'cellulite'? Ring any bells?

Bewildered, I looked around, wondering if the North Pole had suddenly turned into a stripper pole, or if I was just caught in the Twilight Zone. Judging by the reactions of the people surrounding me, I wasn't the only one agog at the woman's outfit. I was actually tempted to ask her if she realized that she'd forgotten to put her pants on before leaving the house. Or maybe she'd been mugged in the mall parking lot, and someone had stolen her skirt. "Um, excuse me, Miss, but I think someone's taken the other half of your outfit." Better yet, "What the hell were you thinking?"

Listen, I'm all for dressing the way you like in the privacy of your own home. Your man like a little booty? Show it to him.

Just don't show it to me.

Or to that little girl who still leaves out cookies and milk for Santa Claus, and thinks that when she grows up, she'll be loved for who she is, not for how much skin she shows. Geesh.

Gives new meaning to the word 'cheeky', doesn't it?