Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Some Heartfelt Words For My iPad

Dear iPad,

I owe you an apology, complete with total honesty, much groveling, and a trail of sloppy wet kisses.

When I first heard of you, I scoffed (yes, scoffed!) at what your designers decided to call you.  I thought it was the silliest name for a product I'd ever heard (unless said product was for feminine protection), and considered it a marketing disaster.  Oh, how wrong I was, and how a-rose-by-any-other-name-is-still-as-sweet you turned out to be!

Our journey to find each other has been rife with mistakes and misconceptions, for which I take all the blame, and can only hope you'll forgive me. When I found myself on a plane, carrying two separate books so I wouldn't run out of reading material during the flight, and cursing the space they took up in my carry-on, I knew it was time to look into e-readers.  I flirted shamelessly with the Nook, and to my everlasting sorrow, even took up briefly with a *gasp - dare I say it?* Kindle.  I read one book on it, but please believe me when I tell you that it will NEVER happen again!  I was blinded by its popularity, much like that of a movie star who'd flashed a blindingly white electronic smile in my direction, but YOU... you, iPad, are the one for me.

The crystal clarity of your screen, the ability to change font styles, font sizing, screen brightness and direction... the exquisite sensitivity with which you respond to the touch of my finger as I flip the pages as though I were reading a real book instead of clicking a meaningless, annoying button... oh, iPad, how could I have been so wrong about you?  I even believed that stupid lie about how I'd have trouble reading you outside in the sunlight... can you ever forgive my gullible arrogance?

Instead of returning my callousness with cruelty, you gave me even more to love, meeting my needs in ways I'd only dreamt of having them met.  The ability to check my emails from anywhere - the airport, my car, the back seat of a cab... Facebook, Twitter, the Internet, all at my fingertips, in mere seconds!  That laptop that used to seem so wonderful has taken it's last road trip, replaced by your beautiful, streamlined simplicity.  Why, oh why, did I ever think I had to sign up for some expensive two-year cellular contract in order to have you for my own, when nothing could be further from the truth?  Yes, it's true that I paid more than I expected initially to in order to have that cellular convenience, but it wasn't your fault!  The ability to pay a small fee of $14.99 on a pay-as-I-go basis is completely and entirely worth it, and I know you won't be angry if I pay for it only when I travel.  The rest of the time you'll be perfectly content with me using free Wi-Fi, which is everywhere these days.

I love your flexibility, how you intuitively switch from landscape to portrait mode as I move, intuned, as it were, to my very thoughts.  I love how you're willing to flip yourself on your head for me if I wanted it, and how your buttons are exactly where they need to be for the convenience of my fingers.  I adore the rich depth of colors in your screen, and oh! the apps, my darling... the apps!  There is nothing I desire that you don't provide, including a slim outline and a light weight so that I can slip you into my purse and take you everywhere.  I'll never leave you alone again, dearest.

You had me at "Hello", iPad.  I only wish I hadn't taken so long to say it.


Sharon S. said...

OMG! That is hilariously, scary . Apple should use you to promote their product. You now have me rethinking my kindle. But remember! That honeymoon phase will end, do you two have what it takes to make the long haul or will you feel the need to move on to something newer, better, faster!

Terri Garey said...

Never, Sharon! We're soulmates, my iPad and I! :-)

Julianne MacLean said...

Now you have me convinced. When I take the plunge, it will be the lovely Ipad...

Terri Garey said...

I warn you, Julianne, once you've bitten into the Apple that is iPad, you'll never go back! :-)

Alexia561 said...

So....I'm guessing you like it? ;)

The one big complaint I have with the iPad (besides the name) is the fingerprint issue. No matter how clean our hands, I'm constantly wiping off the screen! By the end of the day, the screen is just nasty looking. :(

Terri Garey said...

Yes, that's the only drawback I've found, Alexia, but a little bit of Windex on a paper towel, quick swipe, and it's good as new! Not enough of a reason for me not to love it. :-)