Friday, April 13, 2007

Fortune Favors The Brave

...or so they say. :) I can't say I'm a big believer in fortunetelling, but I've done lots of research on it, and I do find it interesting. I've only had my fortune told once, by a little Russian woman in the back of a NYC strip mall/flea market, where she kept a little room, open to passing shoppers. (It seemed cheesily appropriate at the time.) The first thing she said when she looked at my palm was, "You don't like anyone to tell you what to do."
Gee, is it that obvious? :)
It's amazing how many bizarre methods have been used throughout the centuries to pierce the veil between the known and the unknown. Everybody's heard of palm reading, crystal balls, Tarot cards and tea leaves, right? Well today, in honor of Friday the 13th, I thought I'd post 13 obscure, little-known ways used to tell fortunes. These are all true methods, none of them made up (as evidenced by the very official, deeply scientific addition of "mancy" to the end of each word.) :)
Ailuromancy: Observe how a cat jumps.
Keriomancy: Study the flickering flame of a candle.
Oomancy: Crack an egg into a glass of water and study the shapes the egg white forms in the water.
Bibliomancy: Open the Bible and read the first passge you see to learn your fortune. (In some Christian denominations, this is grounds for excommunication.)
Scarpomancy: Predict someone's future by studying their old shoes.
Scatomancy: Predict your future by studying your own..um..excrement. (Not to be confused with spatulamancy, the study of "skin, bones, AND excrement.")
Tiromancy: Study the shape, holes, mold, and other features on a piece of cheese to determine your future.
Alphitomancy: Feed a special cake to an alleged wrongdoer. an innocent person will be able to eat and digest the cake; a guilty person will gag on the cake or become ill. (Hey! Many people have eaten my cooking and gone on to live normal lives!)
Haruspication: Study the guts of an animal, preferably a sacred one.
Hepatoscopy: Study on the animal's liver; ignore the rest of the guts.
Dilitiriomancy: Feed African benge poison to a chicken. (You've got those laying around, right?)
Uromancy: Predict someone's future by studying their urine. (No thanks! But you know I had to include it, didn't you?)
There, now you're up to date on obscure methods of fortunetelling. Maybe it'll come in handy when you're stuck for small talk at your next party! :)

1 comment:

Bob said...

I have another one:

Henlayscrambulation...the study of the layers, folds, and fluffiness of the eggs your husband fixes for you to predict how the day ahead will go. Love, B.